these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
