Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
