He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
