Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
