Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
