there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
is wine microwaveable?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
