Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
