And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
