I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
