The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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