Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
