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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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