That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
