Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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