but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
