I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
