there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
