I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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