you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
