I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
