I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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