Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
