She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
