you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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