we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
