The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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