And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize