i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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