It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
