I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
