Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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