this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
