I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
did i walk over a car last night?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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