there was a trapeze. enough said
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
