Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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