ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
