Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The air was thick with penises
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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