I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
