Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
