Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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