if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
