glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
