i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
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