Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Congratulations! We have a period
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