eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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