highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize