No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
