I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize