I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
