Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
