yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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