wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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