there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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