ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize