we made out on top of his cat.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
