At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
