He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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