He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Let's get the cat blown out
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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