She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
