You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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