I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
