I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
