my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
