I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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