My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
