I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
