I smell stomach acid.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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