So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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