I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
