he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
