dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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