I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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