just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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