Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
